Reported by Ree, “The (Ree)lationship Guide”
If you’ve been browsing social media (specifically Facebook) lately, you’ve probably seen this viral video clip of an older woman giving (presumably) younger woman relationship advice.
At the time of this writing, the video has garnered over 4.8 million views since it was uploaded onto the Facebook fanpage UNILAD on October 31, 2016. The video also has over 90,000 “reactions” (also known as “likes”), 69,000 shares, and 11,000 comments.
It’s obvious that her words have touched quite a few people — and that makes sense considering that Black grandmothers are traditionally highly revered in their family and within the community in which they live. Although grandmothers have seen and done a considerable ‘lot, it doesn’t mean that everything they tell us is correct. In this case, there are some areas of the “fly grandma’s” remarks about dating and relationships that I, quite frankly, disagree with.
- Then when he say ‘You know what? I think I wanna marry you,’ and he try to kiss you and get you and all that, don’t do it. Shut it down. My question to her is “Why?” If it’s for spiritual/religious beliefs, I understand; however, if it’s to play hard-to-get or simply to bring a man to the point of desperation, I don’t understand. Further, this point of view assumes that the only person who stands to benefit from this interaction is the man. What happens if the woman wants to be intimate? Would she be deemed less of a woman? Also, why prolong the period of time you are withholding intimacy for no real reason when you can find out if you and him are compatible in the bedroom before you say “I do”? You’ll end up being like this lady who is subjected to lifelong misery.
- Y’all have to have a tighter bond than sex, and it has to be intellectual. On the surface, this makes perfect sense because, if the only thing you have in common with your mate is intimacy, you’re in for a world of trouble; however, by stating the bond must be “tighter” than sex, this implies that a “tight” sexual bond isn’t important or necessary. It is absolutely important and necessary! Sex relieves stress and is associated with lower blood pressure. You can’t reap these amazing health benefits if you and your partner lack chemistry in this area.
Look, overall, Fly Grandma is on point, but I think we should be cautious when applauding each and every word of our elders. Yes, their point of view is to be respected and listened to; however, it doesn’t mean they’re always right.