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Thee Urban Sophisticate: 3 Ways to Attract Your Facebook Love Interest

Shoot Your Shot

by Thee Urban Sophisticate, author of 21 Date Ideas for Couples Sick of Dinner & a Movie

Not to be mistaken as a basketball reference, if you haven’t heard already, you can find this idiom being used to awaken the alpha spirit of many boys & men, most notably on Twitter. This is where the #ShootYourShot hashtag is surely to provide you with endless laughs + Awww’s. Because, as with “jump shots,” there are some you make and some you miss.

Shoot your shot, as defined by, means to let go of your pride and pursue someone you’re interested in.

In 2016, it’s no secret that the gender lines have been blurred a bit, but expectations? Not so much. This is the era where you’ll easily find women proposing to men, (*on video* Shocking, I know.). And if you search the #ShootYourShot hashtag, you’ll also find firsthand accounts of women making the first move on their present-day boyfriends. But is this the overwhelming sentiment between black men and black women? Ehhh… I highly doubt it. My take, for the most part, is that men love pursuing women, and women love being pursued.

With that understanding, let’s move on — Alpha Males only because Betas and the others may likely read this #GentlemenTheory but be too nervous to see to its application. Or maybe not, the internet provides confidence that may rival liquor.

Let’s get into it …

So you notice her, maybe you see her comment on a post, or she’s a social media friend that you’ve already had and you’re just now beginning to really notice her. While I don’t suggest doing this, you may be the type to just hit the lady up and your first ever words to her may be, “Let’s exchange numbers, you’re attractive, and I want to converse with you offline.” Fine, there’s nothing wrong with that; it may work. Your chances of it working, though, are slim. Can you really blame the ladies?


You have to understand how many creeps — like, legit CREEPS — are on the internet attempting to #ShootTheirShot at that same woman. So the lady you have your eyes on doesn’t know what your intentions are, or if you’re just another creep. To overcome this you make yourself distinguishable. And thanks to the internet, it’s that much more easier!

Disclaimer – I feel Facebook is the best platform for shooting your shot, but that doesn’t mean these suggestions can’t be transferred to other social media platforms. For the sake of this discussion, I’ll be using Facebook as my reference point.

You want to develop some familiarity. Engage in discussion on her posts. Leave valued input. I can’t tell you how many times women have sent me friend requests and initiated conversation with me by requesting we link up, all because they appreciated my commentary.

BAIT CHECK. Have something worth holding her attention. Be an interesting person. I suggest this to all the fellas before they even consider approaching a woman. Ultimately that’s what you’re shooting for. This underlying incentive for her to respond to you the way you want. Of course you want to be well-groomed, and you want to be mindful of the things you post, i.e articles + videos you share, status updates, etc. All of these things serve as somewhat of a representation of who you appear to be to her. Have your bait together + refined.

SHOW PLATONIC INTEREST. Her first time hearing from you shouldn’t be a pick-up line or even a compliment. But if you must, please read: how to compliment a black woman. You want to show that you’re sincerely intrigued by what she’s got going on. So if she has a blog, share her blog posts. If she has some sort of business, then promote that. I have women friends who run blogs + businesses and the men somehow make their way into their inbox before they can click the Share Button. Be smarter than them.

NO PUMP-FAKING. You made it this far. You slid up in her DM’s, so don’t act shy now. Shoot your shot, with an MJ follow through. Ain’t no half-assing your way to a date-night. So ask for the date. Don’t suggest a date; don’t hint at a date; don’t beat around the bush about the date. ASK FOR THE DATE. If you’d like, keep it simple with “We all gotta eat, right?” At some moment in the middle of your discussion…

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about:

“Hey Nina, I want to take you to lunch tomorrow, I’m thinking around 12:30, 1 o’clock. That’s good for you?”

The above, or any variation that best suits your personality, should work. The important thing is she knows your intention. She knows you want to take her to lunch. She also knows when you want to take her to lunch. The ball is now in her court. It’s either Yes or No. You shot your shot. Hopefully when it’s all said and done, you can appropriately say “Steph Curry with the shot, boy!!”

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